Don't Drink the Cactus Juice
by kdinthecity
Summary: A rewrite of The Desert episode where Aang goes off in a huff to find Appa, leaving his friends to fend for themselves. Luckily Sokka has a map! But they have no idea where it would lead them or what mess they would get into next! Just another side adventure for Team Avatar.
1. In the Desert

**A/N:** Pro-Bending Circuit Round Three: The Missing Item

 _Position/Team:_ Waterbender, Capital City Catgators  
 _Prompts Used:_ Si Wong Desert, Treasure Hunt  
 _Bonus:_ waterbending  
 _Total Word Count:_ 1,975 (chapters 1-2)

* * *

"When do you think he'll come back?" Katara scanned the sky for any sign of hope, raising a hand to shield her eyes from the scorching desert sun.

"Well, probably not until he's done with his search," Toph replied while kicking another wave of sand into the air.

"Would you stop that? It's annoying!" Sokka wiped his face with the back of his hand and made a dramatic sputtering noise.

"Aww, what is it, snowflake? Can't _see_ with the sand in your eyes?" Toph taunted.

"I was concerned about Momo! You alright there little buddy?" Sokka stroked the lemur's ears, receiving an affectionate coo from the creature in return.

"In case you were wondering, I can't see A THING out here!" Toph yelled, causing Momo to squawk and coil himself around Sokka's neck.

"Everyone just… calm down, OK? We need to stick together if we're going to get out of the desert alive." Katara continued her skyward gaze hoping to catch a glimpse of something orange and yellow coming toward them.

"Well, if I sweat anymore, I don't think sticking together is going to be a problem!" At this statement, Sokka pried Momo from his shoulders, a string of sweat linking them together. The lemur immediately slurped up the liquid and purred.

"All I gotta say is you and Sugarqueen picked the _lamest_ vacations. If we ever get out of this desert, I'm going to show you what a real vacation is like." Toph folded her arms across her chest and continued kicking at the sand.

Katara sighed. "I just wish I knew where he went."

Sokka's eyes went wide. "Hey! I can't believe I didn't think of this before. Where does he usually go when we can't find him?"

"Uhh, the bathroom?" Toph let out a laugh that sounded more like a snort.

"I dunno, Sokka. There's not many places you _can_ go out here," was Katara's more practical answer.

Sokka smacked a hand on his forehead before rummaging in his bag. "The Spirit World, of course! And I happen to have a map!"

Toph and Katara gathered around him while he brandished a worn piece of parchment and traced a marked pathway with his finger.

"Did you get this in the library?" Katara asked.

"Nope," Sokka said with a grin. "Some guy back at the Misty Palm Oasis bar gave it to me. Said if I was looking for an _awakening_ , this was where to find it."

"So, some guy at a bar gives you a map to the Spirit World, and you expect us to follow it? It doesn't look like the maps from the library, Sokka. It looks like those treasure maps the pirates had." Katara narrowed her eyes at her brother as she spoke.

"Treasure map?" Toph couldn't see what they were looking at, but she liked the sound of it. "Let's do it! I declare this as MY vacation!"

Sokka gave Katara his sad penguin eyes. "Come on, sis. What do we have to lose? Maybe we'll find who we're looking for? Maybe we'll find what _he_ is looking for? Who knows… maybe we'll find treasure!"

"Ughhhh, OK, fine. What do we do first?" Katara had to admit that a diversion from their search and the relentless heat could be nice.

Sokka pointed to a spot on the map. "Well, it says here, 'To start your quest, you don't need to be worried, just follow the fox to where knowledge is buried.'"

"It has riddles, too? Oh, this is _even_ better!" Toph clapped her hands together in delight. "OK, so obviously we start at the library. Which is where we are. Or were? I can't tell anything with all this sand!"

"Okaaaay, so then it says, 'Walk past the cactus, but don't take a drink, and find the boat in the sand before it might sink.'"

They found the cactus easily, but Sokka lingered, contemplating.

"Sokka!" Katara hissed.

"What? I heard the cactus juice was good. That's all."

It was Toph who found the boat by stubbing her toe on it. It was already mostly buried in the sand, so Sokka and Katara tried to make quick work of uncovering it.

"This would be so much easier with an airbender," Sokka huffed.

Once their prize had been revealed, though, Katara added, "Yeah, but now crossing this desert will be so much easier with this! Oh, Sokka! I'm so sorry I doubted you!"

"I don't think we've made it to the good stuff, yet. Next it says, 'Sail on the sand, past the dunes and the hive, but don't linger there, it's where buzzard wasps thrive.'"

"What was that you were saying about the good stuff?" Toph muttered.

They did see the wasps swarming around their rocky nest but thankfully were able to pass by unnoticed. Sokka then read the next clue aloud. "If you see a sandbender here, he can show you the way, he will tell you the code, but will expect you to pay."

As if on cue, a sandbender approached them, acknowledged the map, and told them he had the information they sought. However, he wanted their boat as payment. Katara protested at this, but Sokka reassured her. "If we find the Spirit World, then we won't need this boat. We'll have what we need to get out of here."

"Don't forget the code!" Toph reminded them. The sandbender confided that "cactus juice" was the operative phrase. Then, he sailed away.

"Cactus juice?" they all said in unison while exchanging confused glances.

"Cactus juice? Did someone say cactus juice?" Another sandbender appeared seemingly out of nowhere.

"Ahh, yes. Yes, we did," Sokka affirmed.

"Very well, then. Welcome to the Spirit World." With a wave of his hand, the sand parted beneath their feet to reveal a staircase leading to an underground building.

"Is _everything_ buried under sand out here?" Toph complained as she hesitantly put one foot in front of the other to descend the stairs.

"Only the things worth keeping a secret. I trust our secret is safe with you?" The sandbender surveyed them suspiciously.

"I'm not sure who we would tell," Katara mumbled under her breath. "There's no one else out here."

"Uhh, Katara?" Sokka peered through the door that was now open before them. "Something tells me we're not as alone out here as we thought we were."

"Oh yeah?" Toph leaned into him, pretending to get a better _look._

"And something tells me this isn't really the Spirit World, either."


	2. In the Spirit World

"This is the best vacation EVER!" Once she had discovered where they were, Toph had taken the lead. "We have these in Gaoling. They're called blind pigs. I'd go with the rumble crowd after a fight. Even though I'm a kid, they used to serve me anyway… because I'm blind. And because I'm awesome." She threw back her drink while Katara watched in horror.

"But Toph, we're underage." Katara nervously scanned the dark, sparsely populated room. "We can't get caught in here. And we're not allowed to drink this stuff."

Sokka hiccuped. He was on his second drink already. "Lighten up, Katara. What was it you said? There's no one else out here. That means _no one_ will know."

"Yes, but _I_ will know. And I'll have to live with it on my conscience. Plus, aren't we supposed to be looking for—"

"CACTUS JUICE ON THE HOUSE!" the bartender rang out.

"Woohoo!" Toph and Sokka gave each other high fives.

"But the map said not to drink the cactus juice!" Katara exclaimed. "You shouldn't consume anything from strange plants!"

"You really don' geddit, do you?" Toph slurred. "The map can't say da word _cactus joos_ on it 'cause den it will give 'way da code word. Everything issa secret. Issa speakeasy, Kataya."

"Toph, I really don't think you should—"

Sokka grabbed his sister's glass. "You gonna drink yours? You really should. Try cactus juice. It'll quench ya! Nothing's quenchier! It's the quenchiest!"

"No! And you shouldn't either!" Katara stood abruptly and stormed off to dump her drink in a trash can at the end of the bar. She was just about to grab her friends to leave, when a nearby conversation caught her attention.

"I was on my way here when I saw this bison just stranded in the desert. So I captured him and traded him to some merchants headed for Ba Sing Se. I got a pretty nice haul from the deal. Next round is on me."

"Good work, Ghashiun. I'll have a shot of Dragonclaw if you don't mind."

"Of course you'd pick top shelf, you rotten thief."

"Takes one to know one."

Katara returned to her seat, ignoring her completely sloshed friends. Toph and Sokka had apparently challenged each other to a drunken arm wrestle. Katara did note with some satisfaction that Toph was winning. Now that she had another purpose for being here besides teenage rebellion, she felt more at ease. She leaned over to get the bartender's attention.

"Is there a drink menu?" Katara conjured up her most grown-up sounding voice.

"Depends on who's asking."

"Ughhhh. Fine. Can I have a shot of… Dragonclaw?" Her new tactic was to act like she knew what she was talking about.

"I'm afraid that one is a little out of your price range. Unless you've got something worth trading in your waterskin there."

"Oh, um, no. It's just bending water. You know, like for waterbending? It probably tastes like… sweaty pirate or something. Not that I know what a sweaty pirate tastes like!" Katara felt her face go red.

"Waterbender, huh? Well, you might like to try the Ocean Breeze. It's a sweet cocktail made from lemons, limes, coconut, and rum."

Katara breathed a sigh of relief. "That sounds great. So… can you tell me how to get to Ba Sing Se?"

"You mean the drink Ba Sing Se? Like with whiskey, bitters, vermouth, and a cherry? Or directions to the city?"

Katara smiled as she sipped her Ocean Breeze. "Actually, I might be interested in both."

An hour or so later, Katara had to pry Sokka away from a singing duet with a snaggle-toothed man, and she intercepted Toph just before the earthbender accepted a challenge to a striptease rumble. It was dark when they emerged from the speakeasy's hidden entrance. Katara plopped her friends in the sand, content to just let them sleep it off right there until she figured out a plan.

Toph pointed up at the sky. "Look, it's a giant mushroom. Maybe it's friendly!"

Sokka waved his hands over his head. "No, no. That's the moon! Princess Yue is flying again! And look, she found Aang for us!"

Katara looked up just in time to see the Avatar swooping in on his glider. "Oh, Aang! I'm so glad you're here! We missed you so much!"

Toph giggled. "Hey there, mushy giant friend."

Sokka snorted. "Don't mind her. She's just jealous because Momo didn't bury _her_ in the sand. Hey, stop tickling my toes, Momo!"

Katara gave Aang a rueful look. "They're pretty much useless right now. I'll explain later. But everyone should get some rest, because we're headed to Ba Sing Se. That's where Appa is."

Aang's eyes widened. "Katara, you found him! I've been searching all day!"

"Well, we haven't found him, yet. Ba Sing Se is a big city—" Katara paused to place a finger on her chin. "—and a really good drink, actually."

"Momo stole my drink!" Sokka whined.

"Hey, where _is_ Momo?" Aang asked.

"Oh, umm…"

Determined not to lose another furry friend from their group, Katara frantically retraced their steps until she found the lemur curled up under a barstool at the Spirit World speakeasy.

Sometime later, the bartender felt inspired by some peculiar guests, and a few new drinks showed up on the menu.

Sleeping Lemur

Blind Bandit

Boomerang

Bending Water

* * *

 **A/N:** Check out the bonus chapter three: The Spirit World menu.


	3. Now Serving

~ Spirit World Menu ~

* * *

Seasonal offerings:

 **Bending Water**  
Unleash your inner pirate. This one will make you sweat!  
 _Dark rum, ginger beer, bitters, lime_

 **Sleeping Lemur**  
It tickles. In a relaxing sort of way.  
 _Vodka, spiced rum, orange juice_

 **Blind Bandit**  
Small drink. Big punch.  
 _Cactus juice with a mystery shot_

 **Boomerang**  
You'll keep coming back for more.  
 _Gin, green chartreuse, maraschino liqueur, lime_

* * *

Signature Drinks:

 **Ba Sing Se**  
Big and bold. No walls. No rules.  
 _Earth Kingdom whiskey, sweet vermouth, bitters, cherry_

 **Misty Palm Oasis**  
A tribute. If they weren't so bad, then we wouldn't be so good.  
 _Agave spirit, mango, mint, lime_

 **Ocean Breeze**  
What a true oasis feels like.  
 _White rum, lemon, lime, coconut_

 **Ember Island Iced Tea**  
Yes. They are crazy in the Fire Nation.  
 _Tequila, vodka, light rum, triple sec, gin, cola, lemon_

* * *

Spirits:

 **Dragonclaw**  
Distilled from the white dragon bush, small batch production operating in secret, hidden from the Fire Nation.

 **Moonshine**  
Imported from the Water Tribe, will grow hair on your chest to keep warm during arctic winters.

 **Roaring Panda**  
Distilled from the Panda Lily, a plant of passion and fertility. Rooms are available.

 **Spice of Life**  
Cinnamon and clove infused rye whiskey, makes you feel all warm and tingly.

* * *

 **A/N:** Drink inspirations

Bending Water=Dark-n-Stormy  
Sleeping Lemur=Brass Monkey  
Boomerang=Last Word  
Ba Sing Se=Manhattan  
Ocean Breeze=Sonic Ocean Water (+rum)  
Ember Island Iced Tea=Long Island Iced Tea


End file.
